What Is Non-Verbal Communication?
Non-verbal communication is exchanging information without using words. It includes:
- Facial expressions
- Posture
- Gesture
- Eye contact
- Tone of voice
- Physical distance
- Strategic silence
While people are taught verbal communication, nonverbal skills are mostly automatic. To improve nonverbal skills, it’s essential to get started with self-awareness. Knowing a baseline of your current skills helps you progress them in the future.
Nonverbal communication skills are based on the cues our ancestors developed to protect themselves from potentially dangerous individuals. For example, they learned that maintaining an open posture shows that a person is unarmed and, hence, can be approached.
Nowadays, nonverbal skills are no longer survival skills, but this ancient knowledge can be taken advantage of. They cannot replace words, especially in the modern era of text and multimedia. But it can effectively work alongside them. The encouraging part is that nonverbal communication skills can be practiced.
Why Is Non-Verbal Communication Important?
A psychologist, Albert Mehrabian, found that only 7% of all information in average interactions comes from spoken words. Other is conveyed through components of nonverbal communication like facial expressions, gestures, postures, etc.
Neurotypical individuals are highly attuned to nonverbal signals, even if they are not conscious. We can judge confidence, warmth, credibility, and trustworthiness within seconds. These impressions are not always accurate, but they strongly influence first impressions in work or, for example, when swiping on someone on Tinder.
Mismatches in verbal and nonverbal communication undermine a person’s trustworthiness or credibility. For example, a job candidate can have amazing accomplishments, but if they are tense or avoid eye contact when telling about them, recruiters won’t fully trust them. These mismatches are often used in TV to make us feel uneasy toward certain characters.
Nonverbal communication is so important in the workplace that it can cost companies up to $2 trillion annually [2]. This number is estimated for poor communication costs in general. However, nonverbal communication accounts for 60% of messages, so these costs primarily concern these skills.
When verbal and non-verbal messages align, communication feels authentic. When they conflict, people tend to trust the body language over the words. That is why non-verbal awareness strengthens connection and credibility in nearly every social context.
Potential Caveats of Non-Verbal Communication
Although non-verbal communication is powerful, it is not a mind-reading tool. Body language can be ambiguous and context-dependent. Mehrabian’s research focused on situations where words and tone conflicted, not all communication. Overgeneralizing this statistic can lead to inaccurate assumptions.
For example, a person crossing their arms because they are “defensive” is a myth that was debunked on numerous occasions. Most frequently, it meant that a person was cold, anxious, or needed extra stimulation rather than being “unapproachable.”
One reason to be cautious about nonverbal communication is cultural differences. Different cultures have different rules for eye contact and touching other people. That’s where a myth about “German” or “Slavic” stares comes from.
Pay attention to body language, but don’t stress yourself out trying to decode every nonverbal signal. It can trigger more social anxiety that distorts perception, leading to overinterpretation. Similarly, neurodivergent individuals may process non-verbal cues differently, which does not reflect a lack of social intelligence.
Techniques for Better Non-Verbal Communication Skills
Flooding smile
Smiling is a nonverbal sign that invites other people to communicate, but not when it’s a quick, automatic grin. To make a smile really effective, let it gradually spread across your face after making eye contact.
This subtle delay differentiates a “small talk” smile from a genuine “you made my day” smile. People tend to perceive it as warmer and more authentic.
Because facial expressions strongly influence how safe others feel around us, a flooding smile can immediately reduce social tension. The key is sincerity. Think of a positive memory or something you appreciate about the moment.
The big-baby pivot
The “big-baby pivot” is a nonverbal trick we learned from… infants. It’s one of the most natural and sincere signs that “I like that you’re here. Please talk more!”
When a baby is engaged, their torso, feet, and eyes align toward the speaker. Adults rarely do this fully, yet the principle still works.
When someone begins speaking, rotate your shoulders and torso toward them rather than keeping your body angled away. Put your phone down. Adjust your posture so your chest faces them.
Triple nod
The triple nod is a subtle listening technique. When someone is speaking, nod gently three times in a row while maintaining soft eye contact. It’s a nonverbal way of saying, “Please, continue to talk.”
Important note for this trick: Don’t let your head wobble uncontrollably. Do three slow nods and stop so that a person knows they can continue talking.
Why does it work? Nodding activates a sense of being heard. It reinforces psychological safety. Many people unconsciously speak more openly when they perceive active listening.
A breeze touch
One of the most effective nonverbal skills is haptics. It’s a skill of touching other people. Although it may sound weird, we practice haptic nonverbal communication as routine rituals: handshakes, hugs, kissing, holding hands, etc.
People who can unobtrusively touch others seem more approachable and friendly. Next time you’ll be speaking with a dear friend, try to practice it: pat them lightly on the hand, touch their shoulder, steer their elbow. Combine touch with verbal communication: touch people when trying to emphasize certain information.
When you feel comfortable with haptics in friendly settings, try to use it at work or with new acquaintances. A critical note for this technique: watch out for people who aren’t comfortable with physical touch. Physical touch can also be inappropriate in professional settings, especially if you hold managerial positions.
If you work remotely, you can still use haptics. First of all, emojis and virtual reactions replaced touch, but didn’t replace the meaning. Secondly, you can touch your own hands or shoulders in a virtual meeting to make people feel more drawn to you.
Match and mirror
People naturally feel more comfortable around those who seem similar to them. That is the psychological foundation behind matching and mirroring.
Start by observing the other person’s energy level. If they speak softly and lean forward, lower your tone slightly and soften your posture. If they gesture more expressively, allow your hands to move a bit more as well.
Avoid copying movements exactly. Mirroring should feel organic. Matching pace can also regulate your own anxiety. If someone speaks slowly, slowing your own speech can calm your nervous system.
Echo effect
The echo effect is a nonverbal skill that shows your interlocutors that you actually listen to them. When someone shares something meaningful, repeat the last one or two words in a questioning, higher-pitch tone.
If they say, “I just got back from Iceland,” you might respond with, “Iceland?” That simple repetition encourages elaboration. It signals that you are paying attention and also invites the other person to continue talking.
The echo effect slows the conversation slightly, which is a good thing. Quick conversations are perceived as small talk, like “popcorn” to fill out the silence. But slower conversations are more about meaning and creating a better impression.
Deepen the voice
A deeper and slower tone of voice is evolutionarily associated with safety and authority. It happened because older people usually had more knowledge and could provide safety and survival.
You do not need to artificially lower your voice. Instead, focus on slowing your pace and breathing from your diaphragm. So, talking on low frequencies that are yours innately. To do this, take a deep breath and say something neutral like “Groceries to buy…” This is your natural deep voice.
Avoid rushing sentences or ending statements with upward inflection if you are not asking a question. Rising tone can unintentionally tell that you’re uncertain. A grounded, even cadence tends to feel more authoritative and reassuring.
FAQs
Is tone of voice a nonverbal communication?
Tone of voice is technically considered paraverbal communication, which sits between verbal and non-verbal communication. The words themselves are verbal. The way you say them, pitch, pace, volume, rhythm, is nonverbal.
What is the difference between verbal and nonverbal communication?
Verbal communication refers to the actual words you use, whether spoken or written. Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, eye contact, and physical distance. Verbal is a present, and nonverbal is a box you pack your gift into.
Which is more effective, verbal or nonverbal communication?
Neither works well alone. More and more people rely on verbal communication nowadays because we communicate mostly through screens and devices. But non-verbal communication is said to carry more sense in oral conversations.
If you rely only on non-verbal cues, misunderstandings are likely. If you rely only on words without awareness of delivery, your message may feel cold or inconsistent. The most effective communicators integrate both channels intentionally.