Are you surrounded by strangers and looking for more information about them? You probably want to get more comfortable in public or simply make new friends and know the people around you better. Interacting with strangers randomly in public can be intimidating, especially for introverts. Again, most people keep small circles, and with growing technology, there’s little to no need to interact in public. While putting yourself out there is not for the faint-hearted, here are some simple and practical tips to make it easier.
Go Outside
The first step in getting to know the people that surround you is acknowledging they exist by going out to meet them. Step outside every once in a while. If it’s hard for you to leave your front yard or venture out, invite people over. Sit on your porch during a sunny evening; let people see you. Smile and wave at any passing neighbors. Utilize holidays such as Halloween or Easter to interact with the neighbors by passing out candy and Easter eggs.
Use the opportunity to introduce yourself to the neighbors and thaw any existing stranger- tension. While you can learn more about people living next door to you on Nuwber, it’s more enjoyable to ask them first in person, and you never know, this could turn into a long-term friendship.
Make Small Talk Comfortable
Even if you aim to deeply learn about a person or build a relationship, don’t skip having small talk. Although it may be annoying, small talk is a crucial part of new conversations. It’s also during this time that you spot any commonalities before diving deep into knowing them. However, you should make small talk interesting. Talk about different topics, probably more intriguing than the “strange weather and global warming.”
Avoid Serious Topics
Some people are passionate about sensitive topics such as religion, politics, sports and football teams, relationships, genders, or finances. Other people are open to having fewer fanatic conversations surrounding similar topics. As you try to get someone to open up, avoid circling around these sensitive subjects unless you’re curious about their take on similar topics. You can eventually and tactfully slip such topics after being comfortable around each other.
Be Vulnerable
To know a person on an intimate level, you both have to practice a level of vulnerability with each other. This doesn’t necessarily translate to sharing personal information even when you’re uncomfortable doing it or being emotional as soon as you hit off any conversation. Start your relationship by keeping the conversations light and fun before eventually diving into the heavier topics. If the person seems disinterested whenever you start a sensitive subject, don’t keep pushing it. Respecting boundaries goes a long way in building a relationship.
Open Up
A conversation with a new person will get weird and one-sided if you keep the questions going. Talk about yourself every once in a while to build trust and mutual acquaintanceship. Naturally, integrate some exciting aspects about yourself into the first conversation so that everyone is more comfortable sharing details about themselves.
Avoid Oversharing
While sharing about yourself is how you get the conversation going, it can be tempting to keep going on and on about yourself. You might chip in with a similar personal situation or offer help and advice when someone shares a problem with you. While that is a humane and gut feeling, it’s advisable to take a step back unless your input is requested. Instead, listen keenly and with empathy. If you have to, offer your assistance by making the space comfortable enough for the other person to request anything they need.
Observe Body Language
A person’s physical response, especially during the first interaction, speaks louder than their words. Reading the body language helps to keep the conversation lively and reveals the odd signs in an awkward talk. Be keen on how the person responds physically to your questions, their facial reactions, and gestures. Shrugging off, giving concise answers, or looking away can suggest that the person is not interested in the conversation or topic. If they actively listen and smile, it might be a great sign you should keep going.
Ask Questions
The best way to learn about a new person quickly and easily is by asking questions. The type of questions and the seriousness depends on the intimacy level you want to get out of it. If you aim for a casual friendship, ask light and fun questions about the person, such as their interests and hobbies. For deeper knowledge, go for more serious questions, but frame them neutrally. However, aim at open-ended questions to provide more room for the person to volunteer info. Avoid back-to-back questions so that everyone is comfortable.
Embrace Honesty
Whenever we interact with strangers, we get tempted to twist the truth to fit a particular context or seemingly relate with them better. However, honesty from the get-go is the best policy to develop mutual trust. Avoid lies, exaggerations, or half-truths when sharing parts of your life. The truth will eventually get exposed anyway and could potentially damage a well-built relationship.
Be Genuine With Compliments
There are different ways to trick a person into opening up, and one is by making them feel better about themselves. While general compliments such as “you look good today” are okay, over-complimenting a person makes the situation more awkward. Commenting on a person’s appearance might be uncomfortable and inappropriate for different circumstances, such as at the office. As a rule of thumb, you should only give compliments that are sincere and meaningful.
Navigate Through the Weirdness
Strangers often default to some type of awkwardness on their first interaction. While that initial dullness is usual, it can easily be avoided. Learn to navigate through the room by creating rapport with the other person. With time, you’ll both open up and feel more at ease in each other’s company.
Final Thought
Unless you are outgoing, interacting and learning about someone in your neighborhood might be difficult. After all, you hope not to make a bad impression or do something wrong while in their space. Finding out more about the people around you is not a one-day job. Building trust takes time and patience, but ultimately, you’ll reap the reward for your consistent efforts.